:: Something fishy ::

My semester’s officially done! =) I’ve just finished the last requirement for that blasted socio class and now I am finally free to enjoy the last sembreak of my college life. Aaahhh… Freedom! Hehehe! =P After two straight days without sleeping, (well, okay, I slept for about two hours during the first day) I have just awaken from an 11-hour slumber! Almost kalahating araw lang naman akong tulog! =P But somehow, hindi din masyado masaya na tapos na mga dapat kong gawin sa buhay! Mabubulok ako nito sa bahay! Magastos naman lumabas and I really don’t have money to burn now because my kid brother just had his 6th birthday. But then again, tinext ko na din highschool friends ko na labas naman kami this weekend! Dadalawa lang nagreply! Ang galing diba? Haay… what to do?! What to do?! Hmmm.. Whole day na naman ako nitong magnenet at magtTV! Naisip ko umuwi na lang ng BF kaso pati si Jong di nagrereply! Si Jong na yun ha! Hang lungkot naman! Gusto ko na lumabas with my batchmates! Kakatapos lang ng sem and I miss them already! At mas lalong gusto ko nang………. haay…

Kahapon, birthday ni Aboy, we were supposed to celebrate it in his school but something came up and they didn’t have class yesterday. Kaya nag-mall na lang kami, kumain at nag-arcade. I hope my brother enjoyed his little celebration. May moment kahapon na nalungkot ako… sobra ko lang narealize how distant my brother has grown from me. Not that we were ever really close because we never lived under the same roof or spent more than a day together. But I visit once in a while and I’d like to think that those visits are special…that we were okay. Whenever I visit him before, he was always warm, he smiles all the time, we laugh and play around… but yesterday it was kind of different. He was distant and cold especially during the latter part. Maybe it was because I don’t visit him as often as I should. I only visit him when there’s a special occasion and when I give his monthly allowance to our aunt who takes care of him. Well, actually, I don’t personally give the money every month because sometimes I’m too busy that I just send the money through the bank. So maybe that’s it. I don’t spend enough time with him. Or maybe it was because my mother was with us. I don’t know… but I notice that my brother changes when my mother’s around. His mood changes, he sulks, he becomes particularly unruly and he becomes cold towards me. He’s only sweet with her. I wonder why… maybe it’s because in his little mind he knows that I am to blame for his "separation" with our mother. When he was younger, it really bothered and scared me that he might develop antagonism towards me because I was sort of the bad guy who made his life miserable. I was the one who decided that he move in with our aunt. Whenever Mama will take him with her to God-knows-where, I will always be the one to look for them to get my brother and bring him back to my aunt’s place. I’ll force him to go with me in spite of his screams and cries. It seemed that he always ended up sad and crying when he sees me. He hated leaving my mother and going with me but he couldn’t do anything about it. He was at that stage when a child is still very clingy to his mother. Well, actually, he hasn’t outgrown that stage yet. He’s still too young. I was afraid he would hate me for all that and I think he actually did during his first few weeks with our aunt when he miserably missed our mother. After some time, he had grown used to the place and the people and I think he’s actually happy there. They take care of him, he has his cousins to play with, he studies, he’s healthy and I think he’s okay. I just really wanted the best for him. I wish he would realize that when he grows up. Hay… anu ba yan! In-SG ko naman tong ekek ko na to! Epekto to ng psych 101 eh! Iniinterpret ko na behavior and attitude ng mga tao sa paligid, looking for the subtle underlying meanings. Mamya wala lang talaga at kaya lang naging cold sakin yung kapatid ko kasi hindi ko siya pinahiram ng phone ko! Wahaha! Hay nako Michico!

Kriz sent me the lyrics of ‘Save the best for last’ when we were chatting the other day. It is one of my all time favorite songs but I haven’t heard it lately. Or maybe I’ve heard it but it’s been a long time since I actually paid attention to the lyrics again. I loved the lyrics of that song. I even remember that when I was, I think, in 5th grade, I used to pretend that I was an actress and I would act out a dramatic scene wherein I had to cry. I remeber using the lyrics of that song as my dialogue, it was just so touching for me that it was actually effective in eliciting some tears. Wahahah! Kadire! Mga kaekekan mo pag bata ka eh noh! Anyway, it is only now that I appreciated the essence of the song again. Thanks to kriz. Actually, the song meant more for me now because I could somehow relate to the lyrics. Not all of it though because the girl in the song got her happy ending. The guy finally realizes, just in time, that the girl’s the one. Hay… ang saya nun diba? I, on the other hand, haven’t gotten my happy ending. I don’t even think I am anywhere remotely near it. Wahaha! Howel! Enough! Ang haba na nito! Share ko na lang yung lyrics.

Save the Best for Last - Vanessa Williams

Sometimes the snow comes down in June

Sometimes the sun goes round the moon

I see the passion in your eyes

Sometimes it’s all a big surprise

Cause there was a time when all I did was wish

You’d tell me this was love

It’s not the way I hoped or how I planned

But somehow it’s enough

And now we’re standing face-to-face

Isn’t this world a crazy place

Just when I thought our chance had passed

You go and save the best for last

All of the nights you came to me

When some silly girl had set you free

I wondered how you’d make it through

I wondered what was wrong with you

Cause how could you give your love to someone else

And share your dreams with me

Sometimes the very thing you’re looking for

Is the one thing you can’t see

But now we’re standing face-to-face

Isn’t this world a crazy place

Just when I thought our chance had passed

You go and save the best for last

This entry was posted on Saturday, October 15th, 2005 at 2:59 pm and is filed under wala lang. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.