:: Something fishy ::

I’m so happy! Ecstatic, even! I’m so hyper and high! Haaay… I love this feeling! The feeling that makes you involuntarily smile regardless of being in a public place and being all by yourself with strangers curiously looking at you and thinking that you must be crazy. The feeling that makes you struggle to keep from smiling and fail hopelessly at it so you simply smile all you want not caring about the weird looks being thrown at you. This is what exactly happened to me a while ago as I was in line for a Philcoah jeepney. I was all by myself and I had this big smile on my face looking like I’m about to burst into giggles (which I actually did once in a while) as I excitedly texted Ju about what was making me feel all hyper and giddy. =P The other day, I had so many reasons to be sad and I wished for the following days to be better! Well, I guess God is quick to answer my prayers. Ahehe! Ang galing Niya talagang bumawi! He simply gave me one reason, just a single reason, to be happy. That one reason sufficed to beat all the other reasons that made me sad. Ang galing! Ang babaw lang pero ang saya-saya! Haaay…Loooorrdd!!! More! More! More!!! Ahehe! =P

I’m sad because:

1. I don’t have time to update my blog! (I have to make do with entries such as this.)

2. I’m overwhelmed by school work! (I have no idea how I can possibly do everything I have to do on time and without doing a haphazard job of it!)

3. I failed my supposed "this-is-it-diet". (Haaayy… Michico,what’s new? stop dreaming that you’ll ever fit in your "payat clothes" again which, by the way, occupy half of your closet! what a waste of your father’s money!)

4. Crush ko na naman sha!!! Hay naku! That’s not really saddening as it is! The sad part is that a tarot card reading yielded a negative answer when I asked if there’s any hope for anything, and i mean ANYTHING even remotely romantic to develop between us. Wala daw talaga!!! Huhuhu… =,( (Howel! I don’t exactly take it as the absolute reality of my future but… I don’t know… I just can’t help feeling sad about it.)

5. The other night, I dreamt that i was kissing someone who I shouldn’t even think about much more dream of in that context. (That is if I want to save my self from senseless misery that seems to never want to end.)

6. I’m in a predicament involving something that is very crucial to my academic future. (Looorrdd… Help!!! Pauline… Ju… what do i do???)

7. Somebody is ignoring me right at this very moment.

8. I missed our MTV Get Spotted episode. (I wonder if i looked fatter on TV? Hmmm… I don’t want to think about it anymore!)

9. My computer’s low batt signal is flashing already and i have to finish this up.

haaay… I hope the next few days will be better!

The semester has just started and I’m already buried in school work! UuGghh… Today, I  was in the library from 10am to 5pm! Talk about the surest way to subject yourself to wooden chair induced cramps! My thesis proposal professor seems to think we only have his class to attend to this semester! He assigned us to read an entire book and 20 theses and he wants all of it accomplished this week! To top it off, I have to read a set of lengthy, confusing, highfaluting words laden lectures for my sociology class and write a paper about it. hay hay hay… I have so much to do and what am i doing now??? i’m here writing in this damn blog! hay naku! o sha! i better start doing more productive things! i’ve barely made progress and it’s already the middle of the week! good luck to me!

WAAAAAAHHHHH!!! ANG SAYA SAYA KO!!!! Diyos ko, Loooorddd!!! Thank you! I just had one of my best days ever! May pagka dream come true ito ganyan! The assers were in MTV Hanging Out with Parokya ni Edgar! Wooohhooo!!! Ang saya kasi literal itong “hanging out”! I was not disappointed! It was really worth missing my Jose Lacaba class! I got to sit beside and actually talk and laugh with Chito Miranda! THE Chito! MY Chito! Haay… parang ayoko nang matapos ang shoot kanina! Ahehe! Plus I get to be on MTV pa! How cool is that?! hay… Life is good! =)  I love Skeeter more for this! Ang saya talaga! The band is so cool! Chito and Gab were hilarious! I couldn’t stop laughing! Sobrang benta sila sakin! And i realized cute din pala si Gab in person! =) ang weird nga kasi i’ve seen them a couple of times already around UP and in concerts but i’ve never really noticed him until now. chitocentric kasi ang pagiging parokya fan ko before eh! i only mind him and their songs! all the rest just fades in the background! ahehe! =P Saka ang babait nila! Sobrang approachable. Especially Chito! ahehe! (saka si Gab na din! nag-offer pa shang magtake ng picture namin ni Chito!) I’m obviously biased! =P but it’s true! he was so patient with the endless requests for pictures! (He was selling like hotcakes! Everyone wants a picture with him alone!) But then again, malamang lamang lang sanay na kasi sha diba! Ah ewan! Basta I love Chito! Ahehe! Ang saya talaga! I had a blast! High pa din ako til now! Hahahaha! Wooohooo!!! =D

I watched ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith’ with my batchmates last night. As expected I was blown away by the actors! Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt ba naman in one movie! Aysus! I couldn’t think of any other man and woman pair that deserved to be described as the epitome of sexiness. They look so good together! Angelina Jolie is as seductive and beautiful as ever! And Brad Pitt is just… well, he’s Brad Pitt! Need I say anything?!?

The movie per se was not really as great as I expected it to be but the presence of the actors well compensated for it. We were so noisy inside the cinema! Carla and Kriz kept whispering side comments about how perfectly good-looking, gorgeously sexy and just undoubtedly hot the actors were. Ibang level talaga si Angelina Jolie! Diyos ko Looord! Ang t-hormones ko! Haha! =p

I was supposed to ask somebody else to watch this movie but I had a last minute change of mind. Just as I was about to ask him, I had second thoughts and then I just decided to scrap the plan altogether. Yan tuloy! Now, I’m wondering what if I just went ahead and asked him. Hay hay hay… kasi Michico eh! tsk tsk..

bday celebration ni carla kanina! ang saya ng mga assers! ang babaliw talaga! videoke the whole night. all-out singing and dancing pa talaga. it was so timely because there were some moments today that i felt sad. i felt that heavy feeling in my chest that i felt when i got depressed for sometime during first year college. i can’t explain or pin-point exactly why i felt it. i just felt sad and alone. you know that feeling of being miserably alone even though you are in a room full of people… it was like that. hay… but i felt better after sometime. simula nung nakashoot ako sa basketball after sabihin ni thea na pagpumasok, may sobra akong gustong mangyari na magkakatotoo na! woohoo! hahaha! yun na! saka nung nakisali na ko sa kantahan or shall i say pagwawala ng mga assers! saka nag-usap din kami ni ju! SGng usap ganyan! it really made me feel better. hay… sana matapos na tong stage na to ng sadness bouts ko! i think this is just an episode. it’ll pass.. i just hope it passes soon.

i was happy to find out that i have the same class with my masscomm crush! even before the class shempre alam ko na na classmate ko sha! magagaling ang aking sources! haha! i ‘couldn’t wait for the class. but i was disappointed because we didnt even talk the entire class. we just smiled snd nodded at each other and that’s it! walang kuwenta. hay… actually feeling ko di ko na talaga sha ganun ka-crush. nung feb to march yung peak, sooobra ko shang crush nun! i guess, it faded during summer. i was assessing how i felt when i first saw him this afternoon… i didn’t feel the usual kilig feeling i never fail to get when i see him before. dati, nahyhyper ako eh! there’s that sudden heartbeat acceleration, yung kabog talaga, and i can’t help smiling and i get that flushed feeling ganyan.  ngayon…wala na eh. sadness nga eh! sarap pa naman may crush! maybe it’s because i didn’t see him the whole summer… nag-fade na lang talaga. or maybe it’s because he cut his hair. i liked it better when it was long. ah ewan! feeling ko kn-crush ko na lang sha kasi gusto ko ng excitement sa buhay! ahehe! pilitin bang magka-crush?! labo! =P

it’s official! my summer break is over! (or at least what should be a break for me although it wasn’t quite a "break" in the real sense o fthe word.. super busy summer kasi eh) my first class was a Broadcast communication elective, advertising. i already took advertising last semester… but as a journalism elective. i took the BC elective to try a different perspective and approach. i know it’s just the first day and it’s too early to judge but it seems fun and the professor is cool. he’s very alive and funny so i think i won’t get bored. i think it’s the kind of class that you best take just before you graduate. madami kasing words of wisdom yung prof! mga quotable quotes ganyan! tipong… "it’s better to make mistakes now that you are still young rather than make mistakes when you’re already old and supposedly wiser making those mistakes seem ten times more stupid." o diba! may pagka inspirational ito magdiscuss ganyan! and it’s a workshop class so it’s really more fun and practical than the conventional academic classes. for our first activity, he asked us to write three words about ourselves. the first one is something positive that we think of ourselves. it should be the very first thing that comes to our minds. no thinking allowed. the second was… a positive thing most people say about us. and the last one was a quality that we aspire to be. we have to explain our choice of words and we were given ample time to do so. he really listened to what every student had to say and gave comments about it. the first thing that came to my mind for the first word was goody-two-shoes. i know it should be just one word but i just couldn’t think of anything else. i said i chose that phrase because i’ve always been the good girl… the one who studies hard… was never a problem… the responsible daughter… doesn’t smoke or drink… always trying to walk the straight path… but i also said that i’m not really sure if i take it as a positive thing because i don’t know if i’m too happy about my being like that. but then again, normally, it is taken as something positive, so maybe it really is then. i think i kind of stirred his interest because he said quite a lot in reaction (which i really appreciated). he said something that really struck me… he said… "You can’t be happy if you are molded into somebody else’s image of you." wala lang… it’s so true… hmm… i think i’ll really like this class. =)

while i was in line to pay my tuition… i was talking to my blockmate. she was asking if i plan to take the LAE this year. had anyone asked me that question a year ago i would have answered yes without batting an eyelash. but now… i don’t know… i’m just not so sure about it anymore. until a few months ago… being a lawyer had always been my dream. but i’m becoming more and more disillusioned as i get older. i was really struck when i read somewhere that the poorest countries have the most lawyers. i mean, my goodness, what does that imply? my disillusionment was further aggravated by my disappoint with the unbelievably slow justice system in our country (which i’m currently experiencing in the court case regarding my change of name). i used to be so naive to think that a law degree is sort of an insurance that you will succeed in life. well, apparently, that’s not the case in our country. she also asked about my plan after graduation. if i will not go into law school, will i pursue being a hard-hitting journalist or venture to advertising or will i take up a masteral degree? all her questions are the very same questions i’ve been asking myself for the past year. as soon as i reached my 3rd year, i already felt old and that i would be leaving college soon… i started seriously thinking about what i plan to do with my life. i started getting scared… and pressured… sometimes i think i become too hard on myself. after all, i’m still young! i’m in that age when one should just enjoy life as it happens! but i just can’t help it. i guess i’m just so scared to fail… howel! i still have a few months to think things over… all i know is that while i’m a journalism major i don’t plan to pursue a career in journalism. i want to do something else. i just don’t have an inkling of what i really want to do yet. haay… ang sabog ko. this is so not me. or at least, this is not how i want myself to be.

anu ba yan! i got carried away again! ang SG na naman ng entry ko! Aaahhh!!! i really have to lighten up! i get too uptight sometimes! hay…

hay naku! nakakainis yahoo! yung account ko lang yata nagloko! it’s back to 1 gig now. bad trip lang kasi nag-erase erase pa ko! sayang! howel! at least ok na sha… pero sayang talaga! hay naku! tama na nga! i should let it go! it’s no use crying over spilled milk!

pasukan na!!! while i cringe at the thought of it, deep inside, i’m actually excited! i usually whine about it but i still always look forward to the start of every sem. i enjoy preparing my stuff for school… arranging my new schedule… being OC with my notebook… making sure my room in the boarding house is spick and span… i even plan the clothes i will wear to school… i wake up early… i go to class a little bit dolled up with my hair dried and all… i finish the first few assignments way ahead of the deadline… kuha agad ng readings ganyan… this excitement and enthusiasm lasts for about the first two weeks of the semester. after that i tire it off and go back to my normal self. cramming na naman… late gumising… tamad na naman mag-ayos… lousy na naman ang get-up kasi school lang naman ganyan… exam na saka kukuha ng readings… ang galing ko talaga eh! ahehe… =P i love beginnings kasi eh. i love fresh starts. howel! sana ok yung start ng sem ko bukas! and i hope i get to find things that will sustain my enthusiasm. i really want to make the most out of my last year in college. =)

aynyway, parokya will be in AS tomorrow! excited na ko! ahehe! =P i hope i get to see them! whole day akong may class eh… pero may breaks naman na more than an hour in between and i’m hoping since it’s just the first day, my classes will be dismissed early. sana bigay lang yung classcards and syllabus!