:: Something fishy ::

this is it! eto na yun eh! mga senyales na talagang tapos na ko sa mga academic obligations ko! It’s 2:25 am and I’m still friendstering. I reread my last few entries. Kumusta naman ang "he’s" ko na naging "his" at ang "smiling TO her" ko! Hahaha! Takte! kumusta naman ang typing skills at grammar ko! May mga iba pang typos, wrong grammar, at mga sentences na parang ayaw na matapos sa haba! Journ student ba ko talaga?! hahaha! What the hell! Informal naman to! Anyway, I’m finally writing a blog entry after 5 months. buong last sem ko pala di ako nagblog at all! patunay iyan na thesis ang buhay ko for the last months! =P

Ang saya! I’m done with school. Technically, I’m already a degree holder the moment Sir Lacaba finally submitted my grade in J111. I’m just waiting for my exit from school to be formalized on graduation day. Haaay… ang bilis bilis ng four years. Ang lungkot din na matatapos na to—wait! ayoko palang magmaka-senti ngayon! saka na! siguro after na lang ng send off. =P

It was my law interview this morning. It must be one of my most nerve-wracking moments! My heart was beating so hard and so fast that it seemed it would shatter my rib cage and jump right out of my chest. Exagge, alam ko! but that was really how i felt. Yung tipong masakit na yung dibdib mo sa sobrang kaba! ganyang level!

The interview was scheduled at 9 am but we were required to come at 8:30 for instructions. I was already in UP before 8 o’clock. I thought I was too early so I decided to drop by my boarding house first. And then I went to the chapel and prayed for a few minutes before going to Malcolm. I got there at 8:25. I thought I was still early but when I registered I found out I was actually already the fifth to arrive. We were six in the set of interviewees for Panel 2 but one didn’t come so I was last to be interviewed. There were three panels so there were about 17 interviewees. You could just imagine how torturous it was to watch the interviewees being called one by one and led out of the waiting room, bearing your nervousness longer than everyone else, and to top it off, being hell scared after seeing the reactions of those already interviewed when they get their stuff from the waiting room before leaving. *pants* (isa na naman tong pagkahaba-habang pangungusap na tinadtad ng kuwit dahil sa katamarang ayusin sa mas madaling maintindihan at maikling mga pangungusap ang gusto kong sabihin. ang haba na naman pala nun. haha!) Some have impaled faces with queasy looks, some have shifty, avoidant eyes, some were teary-eyed and took hurried steps. I even chanced upon a girl interviewee crying in the restroom. Kumusta naman diba?!?! I was becoming more more nervous as time passed. I wanted to be interviewed already so that I can get it over with. I was praying almost the entire three-hour wait. When my turn came I thought I was already going to explode.

My interview was okay… Well, at least I think so. Ewan ko! Sana okay nga… Loooorrddd… Haaay… Sana talaga… I’m relieved that it’s over but now, another torture starts. Waiting for the results. =S 

Good luck na lang sakin! Good luck talaga! =S

If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands! (clap clap clap) 2x

If you’re happy and you know it and you really want to show it

If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands! (clap clap clap)

(enter thunderous clapping from my two little hands)

     I could go on and finish this song but it’s too long! Wahehe! I feel giddy these past few days. =) I smile so easily and I’m so hyper. Wahahaha! hay hay haay… Looorrdd!!! I wish… hmmm… basta! Ikaw na bahala!

     It feels great to finally tell someone something that you have been keeping for so long. Especially when you thought you will never have the chance to say it or even have the guts to do so. I’m glad that I had that chance and that the guts was there when it was needed. =)

   So… what happens now? I really don’t know. And I’m cool with that. I actually try not to think about it too much. Yes, me, the ever paranoid Michico who can’t stop thinking about and disecting every little part of every little thing and sometimes making things appear worse than they are and therefore ending up making it actually worse than it should have been or even ruining what should have been good in the first place and sometimes making things what they are not therefore ending up disappointed and at the losing end, *catches breath* trying not to think too much of something that I would normally obsess about and veering away from complicating things by thinking in fast forward. Believe it or not, I REALLY AM TRYING! wahehe! I just don’t want to ruin whatever it is that I have right now. Actually, it’s not all smiles and rejoicing. It is also very sad. It’s sad because it’s difficult when the mind does not agree with the heart. But I don’t want to dwell on that. I’d rather look on the sunnier side of things. =) I was so happy the other day and yesterday too, that even though today is just, well, not as happy, since I’m still savoring my happiness from the first two days, what should have been a not so happy day ended up being not so not so happy anymore. Wait, did that come out as confusing as I think it did? Howel, who bothers to read this anyway! wahaha! (Ok, fine! except maybe for my ever loyal avid reader, my ajuju, and sometimes my *hushed voice* favorite batchmate *back to normal voice* pauline and, of course, Villazor and sometimes, if she’s up to it, Issy, and maybe, although I don’t know if he still does up to know or if I even want him to read this particular entry, Johann, I couldn’t think of anyone else.) Anyway, goodness, I’ve just noticed that I’ve used the word ‘happy’ so many times already in this entry! Wait! I’m going to count it. That’s seven times! And if I won’t be too strict and include ‘happiness’, obviously I’d have to put it at eight. But if I will be further lenient and include ‘glad’ which means the same thing as happy, then I would have to put it at nine. But ever since I started counting I’ve used the word and words pertaining to the word a couple of times so if I count it again. I would finally have to put it at twelve. I’ve used the word twelve times! Wahaha! I’m not making any sense anymore! Waaahhh!!! Ok, I’m going to stop now. =P

     Haaayyy… Sana… Bakit kaya… Baka naman… Waaaahhh!!! Naku! Ayan na! I’m starting to think too much of it again! Arrgghh! No! I won’t do this! I won’t magnify little things and think of the worse scenarios! I’m happy! And I know it! So I will just clap my hands! (CLAP, CLAP, CLAP) At least, for now. =)

     Grabe! ang baliw baliw ko sa entry na to! takte! wahahaha! I’m Crrraaazzzyyy!

     A la Jong and Mich in hyper mode:

          "Are you crazy?!?!?! Are you like out of your mind?!?! Jeeezz!!! You’re insane!

          You’re going cuckoo over there! You’re going cuckoo on me! Jeezz!"

     Wahahahah! Potah! Si jong lang makakaintindi nito! Wahaha! And maybe juju when I tell him all about it or when he figures out that we have him to thank for all these "you’re crazy" outbursts! =P

     I just checked my phone. It’s a few minutes before 12 am, it’s almost tomorrow but, technically, it’s still today. And it’s official. Today is no longer a complicated and confusing "should have been a not so happy day that ended up to be a not so not so happy day"! It is just simply, a happy day. =D

     (thunderous clapping from my two little hands) =)

My semester’s officially done! =) I’ve just finished the last requirement for that blasted socio class and now I am finally free to enjoy the last sembreak of my college life. Aaahhh… Freedom! Hehehe! =P After two straight days without sleeping, (well, okay, I slept for about two hours during the first day) I have just awaken from an 11-hour slumber! Almost kalahating araw lang naman akong tulog! =P But somehow, hindi din masyado masaya na tapos na mga dapat kong gawin sa buhay! Mabubulok ako nito sa bahay! Magastos naman lumabas and I really don’t have money to burn now because my kid brother just had his 6th birthday. But then again, tinext ko na din highschool friends ko na labas naman kami this weekend! Dadalawa lang nagreply! Ang galing diba? Haay… what to do?! What to do?! Hmmm.. Whole day na naman ako nitong magnenet at magtTV! Naisip ko umuwi na lang ng BF kaso pati si Jong di nagrereply! Si Jong na yun ha! Hang lungkot naman! Gusto ko na lumabas with my batchmates! Kakatapos lang ng sem and I miss them already! At mas lalong gusto ko nang………. haay…

Kahapon, birthday ni Aboy, we were supposed to celebrate it in his school but something came up and they didn’t have class yesterday. Kaya nag-mall na lang kami, kumain at nag-arcade. I hope my brother enjoyed his little celebration. May moment kahapon na nalungkot ako… sobra ko lang narealize how distant my brother has grown from me. Not that we were ever really close because we never lived under the same roof or spent more than a day together. But I visit once in a while and I’d like to think that those visits are special…that we were okay. Whenever I visit him before, he was always warm, he smiles all the time, we laugh and play around… but yesterday it was kind of different. He was distant and cold especially during the latter part. Maybe it was because I don’t visit him as often as I should. I only visit him when there’s a special occasion and when I give his monthly allowance to our aunt who takes care of him. Well, actually, I don’t personally give the money every month because sometimes I’m too busy that I just send the money through the bank. So maybe that’s it. I don’t spend enough time with him. Or maybe it was because my mother was with us. I don’t know… but I notice that my brother changes when my mother’s around. His mood changes, he sulks, he becomes particularly unruly and he becomes cold towards me. He’s only sweet with her. I wonder why… maybe it’s because in his little mind he knows that I am to blame for his "separation" with our mother. When he was younger, it really bothered and scared me that he might develop antagonism towards me because I was sort of the bad guy who made his life miserable. I was the one who decided that he move in with our aunt. Whenever Mama will take him with her to God-knows-where, I will always be the one to look for them to get my brother and bring him back to my aunt’s place. I’ll force him to go with me in spite of his screams and cries. It seemed that he always ended up sad and crying when he sees me. He hated leaving my mother and going with me but he couldn’t do anything about it. He was at that stage when a child is still very clingy to his mother. Well, actually, he hasn’t outgrown that stage yet. He’s still too young. I was afraid he would hate me for all that and I think he actually did during his first few weeks with our aunt when he miserably missed our mother. After some time, he had grown used to the place and the people and I think he’s actually happy there. They take care of him, he has his cousins to play with, he studies, he’s healthy and I think he’s okay. I just really wanted the best for him. I wish he would realize that when he grows up. Hay… anu ba yan! In-SG ko naman tong ekek ko na to! Epekto to ng psych 101 eh! Iniinterpret ko na behavior and attitude ng mga tao sa paligid, looking for the subtle underlying meanings. Mamya wala lang talaga at kaya lang naging cold sakin yung kapatid ko kasi hindi ko siya pinahiram ng phone ko! Wahaha! Hay nako Michico!

Kriz sent me the lyrics of ‘Save the best for last’ when we were chatting the other day. It is one of my all time favorite songs but I haven’t heard it lately. Or maybe I’ve heard it but it’s been a long time since I actually paid attention to the lyrics again. I loved the lyrics of that song. I even remember that when I was, I think, in 5th grade, I used to pretend that I was an actress and I would act out a dramatic scene wherein I had to cry. I remeber using the lyrics of that song as my dialogue, it was just so touching for me that it was actually effective in eliciting some tears. Wahahah! Kadire! Mga kaekekan mo pag bata ka eh noh! Anyway, it is only now that I appreciated the essence of the song again. Thanks to kriz. Actually, the song meant more for me now because I could somehow relate to the lyrics. Not all of it though because the girl in the song got her happy ending. The guy finally realizes, just in time, that the girl’s the one. Hay… ang saya nun diba? I, on the other hand, haven’t gotten my happy ending. I don’t even think I am anywhere remotely near it. Wahaha! Howel! Enough! Ang haba na nito! Share ko na lang yung lyrics.

Save the Best for Last - Vanessa Williams

Sometimes the snow comes down in June

Sometimes the sun goes round the moon

I see the passion in your eyes

Sometimes it’s all a big surprise

Cause there was a time when all I did was wish

You’d tell me this was love

It’s not the way I hoped or how I planned

But somehow it’s enough

And now we’re standing face-to-face

Isn’t this world a crazy place

Just when I thought our chance had passed

You go and save the best for last

All of the nights you came to me

When some silly girl had set you free

I wondered how you’d make it through

I wondered what was wrong with you

Cause how could you give your love to someone else

And share your dreams with me

Sometimes the very thing you’re looking for

Is the one thing you can’t see

But now we’re standing face-to-face

Isn’t this world a crazy place

Just when I thought our chance had passed

You go and save the best for last

Katapos ko lang mag-preenlist! I really hope I get most, if not all, subjects! I think I have slimmer chances because I missed the first cut and most of the slots are already filled! Paano naman ang future ko niyan?? Haayy… bakit kasi hindi nagpreenlist agad eh! ayan tuloy! Good luck sakin! sana maging okay schedule ko! Sana maging mabait sa akin ang Lords of CRS! please, please, please… Sana magwork ang powers ko bilang graduating student! wahehe!

            I feel like I’ve been holding my breath for 13 years. Since the very first time I looked into a little boy’s eyes and felt the world revolve without me. He was an altar boy and I was sitting on the front pew because Grandmoo was hard of hearing. I was fidgeting, bored with the sermon of a priest I now only remember as Father Jabba the Hut. Unable to follow my childish urge to roam, I let my eyes wander around the church, to look for a distraction. They found him. That was good enough for me. He was sitting up on the altar, in his pristine white smock and neatly brushed hair. He was unmoving as of his life depended on being still, and yet, somehow, he managed to catch my eye and to hold it down… with a smile. It was a slow, steady grin that rocked my itty-bitty world. I knew I was never going to be the same again.

            We spent the rest of the mass playing visual tag and running around peripheral visions. Catch me looking at you. I dare you. The pious old ladies disappeared, along with the wooden statues of saints and angels. They were just blurred images seen through clear glass windows while I rode shotgun in a speeding vehicle driven by change. As the strains of Ave Maria echoed in the church, we build childish impressions of love and loving that I would search for, for the rest of my life.

            Final rites came too fast and too soon. Go in peace, the priest said. I turned to my altar boy one last time, maybe, to say a goodbye that would never materialize. Because he looked at me. Didn’t smile. Didn’t speak. Didn’t wave. He just looked at me in a way that no one ever has before. And, I held my breath for what seem like forever because I fear that if I didn’t, my heart was going to cry out and wake the sleeping God.

            I’m still holding my breath. Waiting for someone to make me feel the same way I did that night. Waiting to be reinvented with one look. One smile, one touch, one kiss. Waiting to discover worlds within me that I couldn’t reach alone… without a guide.

            Waiting… waiting to exhale.

***

Haayy… isn’t that just moving? It’s so poignant that I felt every word. I felt what the character was feeling and what the writer was trying to convey. ( Well, at least I think so) Haayy…I felt gloomy, miserable and yet happy and hopeful at the same time. Hala! Schizo! Wahaha! It made me wonder what’s taking my own altar boy so long. It made me realize now, more than ever, how much I want to feel what the writer described. I want to be reinvented and I want to find that someone who will guide me in my discovery. I want to be happy. I felt gloomy and miserable because just like her I’m still waiting… waiting for what seemed like forever. I want to take the breath she took and have the one who caused that to be with me as I exhale. Haay… but then again, the optimistic me butted in my melancholy and cheered me up with the thought that HE will come. My altar boy will come… sooner or later he will… and it will be wonderful. It will be worth the wait. I’m still young anyway and I have my whole life ahead of me. No need to rush things. No need to be impatient. I might just stumble and get hurt if I run after something blindly without caution. Obviously, I’m just making myself feel better here. Wahehe! Howel… I hope I find my altar boy soon… or better yet, I hope he finds me. =)

The other thing that I want to share is this koreanovela I caught on GMA 7 around 6pm. I was just channel surfing when I chanced upon this series with that guy from Lovers in Paris and Stained Glass, he was Gerry in the latter. I don’t know his name (whoever remembers those actors and actresses’ Korean names anyway) and I actually didn’t like him in Stained Glass because I was rooting for the other guy, Kevin (which reminds me, I used to write about that series here when I was still watching it avidly), but I checked it out anyway. I watched for just a few minutes and before I knew it, I was already crying. Wahaha! I tuned in right on time just as the guy was to deliver this dramatic-super-cheesy-hopeless-romantic line that clutched my heart. I’m sorry but I’m really a sucker for guy characters who are wonderfully great and who offer unconditional love but are put in unrequited love situations. You know those I-love-you-you-don’t-love-me-but-I’ll-just-be-here-for-you-no-matter-what-loving-you-with-all-my-might guy characters. Waaaahhh!!! It’s one formula I just can’t resist. I easily cry when watching movies or series with that theme. Haay… anyway, enough of my blabberish introduction. So the scene was like this, the female lead, I didn’t catch her name (Who by the way, was far from good looking. Aren’t she supposed to be gorgeous? So that it will be justified that she is being pursued by two wonderful men. Anyway, I’m being discriminatory here, I’m sorry.) was in some kind of a bridge and looking all defeated. The lead guy, David, was apparently picking her up and being the knight in shining armor of the damsel in distress. The few lines that I caught were these: (These are not verbatim quotations so bear with me but I think you’ll get the idea)

Girl: Ayoko na… maghahanap na lang ako ng ibang lalaking magmamahal sakin… ayoko sayo… bakit ka pa nagpunta dito? Dapat hindi ka na nagpunta hindi kita mamahalin kahit na anong gawin mo.

David: Alam ko… wag kang magaalala, hindi na kita mamahalin… hindi na kita gugustuhin… Isipin mo na lang na isa kong puno na nagbibigay ng lilim… na puwede mong silungan. Isang punong walang pakialam kung sino man ang sisilong sa kaniya. Pag nainitan ka o napagod… puwede mo kong masilungan… simula ngayon hindi na ko si David, isa na kong puno. (and a single tear falls down his cheek but his still smiling to the girl)

I know, I know… This will cause some people to gag to death but what can I do? I was touched. I felt sympathy and pity towards the unfortunate guy. I wish he could just be loved in return. I wish he could receive the same kind of love that he is willing to offer. Hay naku! In-SG ko na naman! Why do I let things like these affect me! Wahaha! Basta! I wish every person who will truly love will be loved in return. That way, no one has to be miserable because of unrequited love. Everyone who is honest in loving will be happy. But that could only happen in a perfect world. And that is a world that exists only in dreams. In reality, we have to learn to accept failure and rejection. We can only hope that the person we will learn to love will learn to love us as well. Or at least we can try to make them learn to love us. We can actually try to make it happen but not all are lucky to succeed in that endeavor. Haayy… I just wish I will be one of the lucky ones..

Ang bigat ng feeling ko… parang iba eh… it seems like there’s something unusual that i just can’t put my finger on… hay… ewan! Baka pagod lang sha… baka paranoid lang na naman ako… pero ayoko ng ganito… =(

Birthday na ni Kim! She’s turning 14. Grabe dalagang dalaga na! Pumapayat na! Unti-unti nang nawawala ang baby fats! Nagpalit na kami ng weight! Wahaha! At paganda ng paganda (shempre may pinagmanahan eh! Wahaha! =P) Anyway, we’ll be having a party this Saturday and there’s a possibility that my dad wont be able to come home in time for it. So that means I have to take care of everything! Nanay-mode na naman ako! Hay hay hay… Pero ok lang! I really want to make it up to my sister anyway. She mentioned before that she was quite disappointed with her 13^th birthday. Well, she didn’t really complain outright, that’s just not Kim, but I really felt her sadness when we talked about it. She said her birthday just went by like it was nothing. And to think it was her 13^th bday. I think she expected something major since it supposedly marked her becoming officially a teenager. (yun pa naman ang kapanahunang bumili kami ng DVD ng 13 going 30 at pinanood niya yun more than once) We didn’t have a party then because my dad wasn’t able to come home due to business problems. So ngayon, na-sense ko na gusto niya talaga mag-party. Nung malaman niya nga na baka di makauwi si daddy parang maiiyak na sha dahil sa napipintong pagkaunsyami (tama ba spelling?) ng party niya!

Here’s the scene when we were talking about her party in the car the other night. I was sitting in front.

ME:      O kim! Pag di umuwi si daddy labas ka na lang with your friends…watch a movie or something… kain kayo ganyan.

SILENCE.

I turned around and looked at her. She’s looking out the window. It’s raining. (Wahahaa! Ang darama!)

ME:      Ano na kim?

Kim answers with a sad voice

KIM:    Ha? Eh nasabi ko na sa kanila na magpaparty ako sa bahay eh…

ME:      Eh pano yan pag di makauwi si daddy? Alangan naming magparty tayo without him… pero di naman sure yun eh! Malay mo makauwi naman sha…

SILENCE AGAIN. And then Kim speaks with a heavy heart (nasense ko sa pagkakasabi niya)

KIM:    Sige, Ate… ok lang… labas na lang kami in case…

Nakana! Ang dramatic hanoh?!?! Wahehe! Ooops! Kung binabasa to ni kim Violent reaction na naman yan! “ATE!!! DI  KAYA AKO GANUN!!!” Wahahaha! Peace! Wag SG! =P

I have a major psychology paper that I should have been merely polishing by now. Plus I also have to come up with a two-week diary for the same subject. But being the procrastinator that I am, I haven’t started with it and will then be cramming again until the wee hours later. Instead of doing my academic obligations, I went out last night (but this is excusable since it’s Papa’s birthday) went home at around 1am… talked to my father until 2am… watched 2 DVDs… slept at 6 am… woke up at 11:30am… bummed around… ate… installed some programs in my computer (It has just been reformatted and I’m back to scratch. I regret not taking care of my installers. I’m missing most of them now and I have to either buy or look for good people who will lend me theirs. I really hope Jong finds my Encarta cds.) … napped … ate again (Kim made this super fattening snack of white bread with nestle cream, sugar and condensed milk spread)… and now, instead of starting with my paper, I’m here, friendstering and blogging. Hay nako! Michico talaga!

Yan tuloy! Kakafriendster, nadelay na nga lalo pag gawa ko ng paper, nalungkot pa ko sa buhay ko! Ang kulit kasi eh! Di na lang gawin ang mga dapat gawin! Kung anu-ano tuloy nakikita! Hay… they look happy… buti pa sila… sana ako na din… sobrang gusto ko na… Anu ba yan!!! ang tagal tagal na nito!!! bakit ganun pa rin ang effect?! bakit ba can’t get over ako?!?! pucha! naiinis na ko sa sarili ko! Sana magpalit na lang siya ng name para di ko na makita account niya ever! Or sana idelete na lang niya at wag na sha magfriendster para wala na akong kahit na anong malaman about sa kaniya! Kasi naman, Michico pinahihirapan mo pa sarili mo! Bakit mo pa iwi-wish na magpalit sha ng name or na idelete niya account niya?! E di wag mo na kasi shang icheck!!! para ka ring ewan eh! Ikaw lang naman nagpapahirap sa sarili mo eh! hay hay hay…

WAAAHHH!!! I’m crazy!!! kinakausap ko na naman sarili ko! I am so pathetic. Uugghh…

Tama na nga! Gagawin ko na talaga paper ko! hay…

__________________________________________________________________________

(Formal/solemn voice)This entry is for my avid reader, my (shift to pa-cute voice) ajujujuju. (Shift back to formal/solemn voice) For always checking, with unwavering hope, if I have already updated my blog even though I have failed him for months already. For always being by my side and urging me to continue writing. This is for you… Thank you for everything… *Tears*

Wahahahaha! I bet natatawa ka ngayon habang binabasa mo to, Ju! O kaya permasmile na naman yan! Bida ka na naman dito! wahehe! Ice breaker lang! Ang tagal tagal ko di nag-update tapos ang depressing pa ng entry ko! ekek ko lang yan! nagdwell lang ako for a while sa nafeel ko when I saw what I should have never bothered to look at in the first place. Sabi nga ni Villazor, pillows lang to! Or for more kasosyalan a la Issy style! Starbucks eclair/Bizu lang to! Wahehehe! =P

I got an unexpected call from Johann again. I was in the middle of texting a friend when this itsy bitsy picture of him suddenly flashed on the screen. I had to look at my cell phone for a few seconds more before I was convinced that it was really him calling. We talked about what’s keeping each other busy… school…(flat 1 lang naman sha sa isang pamatay na accounting class) JPIA… broadass… DK… this blog… (binasa ba naman niya lahat ng entries ko simula pa nung April.) It was really nice talking to him again. And I’m glad that we still get to talk once in a while even if it happens so rarely. Nakakatuwa lang na kahit sobrang matagal kaming di mag-uusap, as in months ganyan, never pa rin nawawala yung communication totally. Meron at meron pa rin. He even watched last year’s DK. Eh di naman kami nag-uusap nung time na yun. Hindi nga lang nagpakita sakin! Parang ewan! Tatawag para sabihing nanood sha kung kelan nakauwi na sha. Kung di niya lang alam yung lines nung character ko di talaga ko maniniwalang nagpunta sha dun eh. I really appreciated his effort though, he even went out of his way to go to UP get his ticket early when he could have just gotten it on the night of the play itself. Howel, I hope he can watch this year’s DK again. At sana next time magpakita naman sha sakin diba!

I just scanned my archive and read some of my old entries… may mga mali-maling spelling and grammar pala ko na di ko napansin. May isang entry ako na instead of “through”, “true” yung natype ko. “and going true a grueling exam” ganyan! Di ko kinaya, ate mae! Ahehe! And I have many run-on sentences! Sometimes I write my thoughts exactly as I think them or as I would say it in person. I thought of editing my mistakes but I was too lazy to actually do it. Besides, wala naming grade to. Saka blog ko naman to. I can write whatever I want. Hahaha! I sound so defensive! =P

Naiinis ako sa friendster alerts. Sana puwedeng choice mo na lang kung makakareceive ng alerts yung friends mo pag nag-update ka ng blog. I don’t want to clutter the inboxes of people whenever I update my blog. Especially since when I’m in the mood and I have the time, in a day, I sometimes update my blog twice or thrice. Edi tatlong beses sila makakatanggap ng email na nagupdate ako. It gets irritating eh.

I went malling with my batchmates today. We ate, laughed, bought some stuff, laughed, looked for krizzie’s eyeglasses, laughed, launched our singing careers by recording our very first set of songs in a karaoke booth, laughed, looked for a missing map, laughed and laughed some more! We had such a blast! =D

I was supposed to just buy a pair of earrings for Issy but, the impulsive buyer that I am, I just had to also buy a pair for myself and an over-priced hair accessory as well! Ahehe! =P But I was no match for ju. He made a spur of the moment decision to buy a new cell phone! Grabe na! I just left them for a few minutes to check out the mall’s tiangge stalls and when I went back he was already inside Globe buying a Sony-Erricson model! How many people do you know go to malls to simply hang out with friends and when they suddenly get the urge to buy a new cell phone, they actually do buy one?!

We went to Frio Mixx because the place has nice tables and seats thinking one or two of us could order there and the rest could just buy the food they really wanted outside. I bought a blueberry cheesecake from Mocha Blends and got some cheesedog waffles with Edward. As we were making ourselves comfortable eating the stuff we bought, the waitress approached us and said,

"Excuse me, po. Sorry po pero strictly no outside food po kasi kami dito…"

Aysus! Our plan was ruined. We just said sorry and promised to eat our waffles fast, we were halfway through eating it already anyway. She was nice and was actually very apologetic. We were able to eat the waffles and cake in peace. The others had no choice but to order inside.

Ang saya ng kuwentuhan sa frio mixx! The best yung paalis na kami. We were laughing so hard! They were all ganging up on me because of some secret they thought I was hiding about one of our orgmates. There’s really no secret, I swear! It was not that I didn’t want to share it. It was just that I honestly had nothing to share! (ju alam ko binabasa mo to! Promise! Wala talaga ko alam! Hmnnp! Ayaw kasi maniwala!) basta! Ang saya! Nakakamiss tuloy mga absentee batchmates! =( 

While writing this, I’m listening to our very own karaoke version of our batch song. I’m playing it in loop mode and it is in its 6^th run already! When I first heard it I couldn’t stop laughing! We sound so happy! We were all singing at the top of our lungs. Off-key and with terrible timing and all. And you can hear our laughters and side comments. (Tama ka ju! "RIOT" talaga!) I love it! =) I really felt the 03 spirit… Ang saya! =) We have to do this again, and next time we have to make sure we’re complete! Although there’s a problem… We we’re only five today and yet we could barely move inside the booth! What more if we’re complete?! It is impossible to fit all ten of us inside! Good luck diba! Pero basta! We have to record our batch song again with all ten of us!

Hay… I love my batchmates! Soobbrraa!!! These are the people who made (and continue to make) my college life wonderful. =)

Shucks! Here I go again, becoming all sentimental!

I better stop to this before I get too carried away! =P

When we were on our way home, Ju and I talked about that guy I went crazy about almost two years ago. I mentioned something I didn’t know I wasn’t able to share with him. I really thought I’ve already told him everything that happened with that guy since he was one of the people I constantly whine and rave about when it comes to my lovelife (and well, actually, everything else for that matter). The things he didn’t know were actually some of the juicy parts! I can’t believe I never got to tell him about those things… And besides, after all this time, we still talk about him once in a while. That guy was like a never ending topic for us. How can I not have told him those stuff all this time??? hmmm… weird.

Anyway, it made me think about that guy again. It made me wonder if, now that I seem to be infatuated again, I can really say that I am over him. Is this the “time” I’ve been waiting for? The time that I will no longer be haunted by my what ifs about us. The time that I can finally stop, as I’ve said in a previous entry, “incessantly wasting energy and brain cells wondering about what could have been even though I know no possible good can come out of it”. Am I “really, totally, absolutely, completely” over him?

Hmm… I honestly still can’t say.